


Stay Here With Me (And Let Us Be Free)

by QueenOfNewOrleans22



Category: Mötley Crüe, The Dirt (2019)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Insecurity, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 04:01:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29993556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfNewOrleans22/pseuds/QueenOfNewOrleans22
Relationships: Mick Mars/Nikki Sixx
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	Stay Here With Me (And Let Us Be Free)

Nikki never stayed. 

It didn't matter when, or where, or how. It didn't matter if Mick kissed him before he fell asleep or just simply bid goodnight before he closed his eyes. It didn't even matter if Nikki needed to chase his high or not (which, since he'd quit drugs, hasd become coffee), it always happened, and Mick was helpless to stop it as Nikki slipped out from underneath the covers and left the bedroom without looking over his shoulder. 

The room was dark and cold. In the LA winter, it wasn't snowing, but Mick was willing to bet that, one of these days, it would. He tossed the blankets aside and placed his feet on the ground. Nikki hadn't closed the door, and light seeped in from the living room. 

It was 1993. Mick should've been used to it by now, except Nikki made it impossible with his secrecy, with his silence toward the matter at hand. Mick might've been able to deal with it, if only he knew _why._ Nikki had never told him, and the mystery of the secret was becoming a physical ache in Mick's chest. 

Sitting on the nightstand was Nikki's notebook, with all of his lyrics, scratched out, ripped form the page, but, sometimes, staying. It was like Nikki's baby, and that gave Mick a pause. Nikki wouldn't leave the notebook if he could help it, so unless he wanted to wait until Mick left the room in the morning, then he would be back to retrieve it. 

Mick paused in the middle of the room, dressed in nothing but his pajama pants, waiting in the cold wintry air without saying a word, his eyes fixed on the door. It took awhile, ten minutes, if Mick wanted to be specific, but the familiar sound of tentative footsteps came back. 

The door creaked open. A pool of light entered the room. Nikki, however, looked like he had melted into the darkness as he walked back into the same room he'd abandoned just a few minutes earlier. His hair was standing on its ends, and the shirt he was wearing was hanging off of his body. 

It only took a split second before Nikki glanced at the bed, and then, curious, looked around the room. He flinched when he saw Mick, his hands tightening into fists by instinct before his fingers extended back out. For a minute, Mick thought that Nikki would run. But he didn't. Nikki never ran. "I thought you are asleep." He said, sounding torn halfway between guilt and faint curiosity. 

"No." Mick said. "I could've been an actor, do you think?" It was a rhetorical question, one that Mick hadn't intended for. "I was waitng for you, Nik." He said. 

"Why?" Nikki knew why, he was just trying to stall, trying to give himself time. It was an old tactic that Nikki harbored from his younger days. Mick had always hated it, hated that, even as an adult in a relatively safe environment, Nikki still carried his habits like a chip on his shoulder. 

"Because." Mick said. "I wanted to know why you always leave." He walked over to the bed and sat down, hands tucked on his lap. 

A multitude of emotions flashed on Nikki's face, shining in his green eyes. "Right."

"Yeah." Mick would've nodded, but his neck cramped and he paused the motion before it could begin. "Why, Nikki?" He asked. 

Nikki looked away. "Nothing. I just....it's personal." He was standing near the threshold of the door, close enough that he could turn tail and run before Mick could so much as stand up. 

"But do you think it's fair?" Mick continued. 

"No." Nikki muttered. 

"Exactly." Mick gestured to the notebook. "Get your book, Nik." He said. 

For a minute, Nikki, distrustful for no good reason, only stares at Mick, but then he moved, slowly, carefully, and grabbed the notebook, tucking it against his chest productively. "It's not fair." Nikki said. 

"Glad we can agree on that." Mick replied. 

Nikki fell into an uncomfortable silence. "One day, you'll kick me out." He said. 

"No, I won't." Mick replied. "It's been, what, seven years? If I wanted to kick you out, I would've already." He said. 

"Okay." Nikki said. "It's just...why, Mick?" He motioned vaguely to his chest. 

"Why what?" Mick asked. 

"Why _me?"_ Nikki elaborated, sounding pained. 

"Oh." Mick looked away, then, because he hadn't been expecting this. 

Truth be told, Mick hadn't expected to hear the faint shiver in Nikki's voice, the insecurity that was rarely there. It was enough to give him a pause. "Because I love you." Mick replied. "Because you're nothing that I have ever asked for, but everything I didn't know I wanted." He said. 

Nikki smiled faintly. "You have anybody else coming over?" He teased. 

"Not that I know of." Mick replied. 

"Well, then." Nikki shrugged. "I think, this time, I'll stay the night." 

And, as Mick reflected on a week later as he pressed his face against Nikki's hair, feeling the younger man's heart beat reassuringly against his arm, Nikki did stay. 


End file.
